Cheating is possibly the worst thing to do to one’s partner and unjustifiable in any case. Women often feel that their partner is cheating on them due to a lack of physical attraction or intimacy. And while excuses for cheating may be many; nevertheless, according to researchers, the principal reason is very simple – it is a lack of emotional connection or mental compatibility.
M. Gary Neuman, counsellor and author of the book, The Truth About Cheating, believes that the main reason most men stray is because of the emotional disconnection they feel from their wives or partners. He further explains that a majority of men say that it was a sense of feeling unappreciated or a lack of thoughtful gestures that incited their betrayal. This need for an emotional connection takes the form of cheating when they try to find it in other women. In this case, they are prone to indulging with other women who might make them feel good about themselves.
It is human nature to feel insecure and emotional, but sadly, from an early age, boys are raised to be tough with the phrase, “Boys don’t cry” being fed to them every now and then. Men are as emotional as women, only the social stigma does not allow them to expose their soft side to the world. Like everybody else, they need to feel valued.
No matter for how long one has been in a relationship, for it to become successful, one needs to make their partners feel comfortable to express themselves as freely as they can. Many begin to take their partners for granted after some years, which is also one reason why they might lose interest. It is always better to talk things out and be vocal about everything.
Physical intimacy expert, Emily Morse, says, “Some couples drift apart over time and don’t communicate about their lack of intimacy. When that happens, some men think it’s easier to just cheat instead of talking about it.”
But a woman doesn’t need to be a face reader either and always try to be at the giving end. A man should be equally communicative as well. Any relationship works with efforts from both ends. If expressing oneself becomes difficult over the course of time, a couple must seek the advice of a therapist.
Let the Newness Remain
While couples are into each other 24×7 at first, the relationship becomes stale after a point, which also becomes a reason for men to find something ‘new’ outside. Often they are in as much love as before but just not comfortable enough to share their desires for pleasure with their partner, which again accounts for the communication gap.
“The closer any of us gets to someone we love, the more familiar and familial the bond becomes, and therefore the more difficult it is to seek pleasure as individuals,” says Mark O’Connell, a psychotherapist.
In other words, some men are embarrassed to ask their partners for experimenting while making love and find it more comfortable to seek that pleasure outside. Which is why it is important for couples to find new ways to entice each other both physically and emotionally. Monotony in anything is a vice.
Thus, there is a gamut of psychological and emotional reasons for men to cheat. But it still does not justify the act. The partner a man wants to be is purely a personal choice – be it being loyal to one person for a lifetime or straying every now and then. At the end of the day, regardless of their motivations, the choice is theirs.